Why Success Feels Wrong
ADHD, Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria, and the Fear of Never Being Good Enough
Do you struggle to recognize success, even when you’ve achieved something important?
Do you feel like no matter how much you accomplish, it never feels right? If you have ADHD or experience Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD), this internal battle is more common than you think—and there’s a reason for it.
A Different Kind of Success
For so long, you’ve been taught that success is about achievement—hitting goals, getting good grades, making money, losing weight, proving yourself to others. But what if that version of success was never meant for your brain? What if success isn’t about the end result—but about the act of showing up?
Success is not about feeling good. It’s about feeling at all. If you have spent years numbing, avoiding, or overthinking, then just pausing before reacting is a win.
Success is not about having a breakthrough. It’s about creating space. The moment you recognize resistance, take a breath, and ask yourself what you need, you are succeeding.
Success is not about finishing. It’s about interrupting the pattern. When you stop the spiral of avoidance and frustration—even for a moment—you are rewriting your story.
An Example of Experiencing Success Differently
Let’s say you’re working on something important, but you feel resistance creeping in. Maybe you start procrastinating. Normally, this would spiral into avoidance or self-criticism, but there’s a better way to feel success:
Instead of forcing yourself to push through, you pause.
You take a deep breath and ask yourself: What do I need right now?
You do one small thing—maybe a stretch, drinking water, or organizing your desk.
Then you return, and even if you do only five minutes of work, you have already succeeded.
Success isn’t about how much you do—it’s about the moment you chose to shift instead of spiral.
Why This Works for ADHD & PDA Brains
Your brain does not recognize “success” the way neurotypical brains do. It craves novelty, emotion, and movement—not abstract concepts like “achievement.”
You need to feel success in your body before you can believe it in your mind.
You need to experience small wins before you can trust the bigger ones.
So Here Is Your Challenge
Find one tiny win today—even something as small as drinking water, sending a message, or choosing rest.
Pause for 10 seconds and notice what your body feels like.
Do not analyze it. Do not judge it. Just feel it.
If it feels like nothing—great. That’s your starting point. If it feels uncomfortable—great. That means you’re growing. If it feels neutral—also great. That means your brain is learning.
You do not need to know what success is supposed to feel like. You just need to experience it in ways that make sense to your nervous system.
Final Thought: You Are Not Stuck
You are not failing at success, your brain is simply learning a language it was never taught, and learning is messy. But even reading this far is a form of success because you didn’t avoid the question. You leaned into it, and that is a pattern worth reinforcing.
Struggling with ADHD, RSD, and feeling good enough?
Let’s work together to redefine success in a way that makes sense for you.
