7 Letters to Enact Change
I Believe.
Change is not easy. Change is scary. Change is not a guarantee that things will be better. We often seek change in times of crisis or necessity and this is not always the best motivation. When we are pressed into change through crisis we tend to look for the fastest solution to the problem, which often times does not lead to sustainable change.
I am reminded of Romans 5:3-5 which says we can glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. It is in this hope through perseverance that we can reframe the stressor (not all crisis) to give a sense of empowerment in times of need.
If we change our view of the problem we can change the way we approach the problem. If we believe we can change then we are well on our way to change. People can want the best for us but, if we do not believe we can change then we have already given up. So, because I want to believe in my ability to change for the better I have found the acronym I Believe to be helpful in producing the change I would like to experience.
I is for Identify. What is the problem? What is the goal? Is change appropriate? Is it realistic or unrealistic? When we feel uncomfortable we often reach for the thing that will reduce the pressure ASAP. But true change will come with thought and insight.
B is for Breathe. Slow down. Take a breath. Take 5 deep breaths. Be present in the moment. Resist the urge to let your mind and emotion outrun your ability and trick you into decisions which are unhelpful.
E is for Evaluate potential choices. People can typically get hyper focused on one potential path. Get stuck in the duality of a right choice and wrong choice. This limits other possible choices. Take time and brainstorm other possibilities, write them down, ask friends or trusted confidants. Resist the urge to pick a choice until you have at least a few different options.
L is for Live. Crisis and change have the potential to paralyze us. The phrase “paralysis by analysis” is not only catchy but can be devastating for change. To overcome this, make small choices which you can enact and move past hurdles. Remember, how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. (Not that I know if elephant is tasty).
I is for Invest in yourself. Invest in spending time with others who are encouraging. Find someone who can hold you accountable or create space for greater insight. Read books, watch videos, journal, find a pastor, life coach, therapist. Just because you are by yourself does not mean you have to go it alone.
E is for Energize. Change can be hard and tiring. Remember, Rome was not built in a day and neither will change be complete. Recognize when you need a break to recharge. We do this by taking a walk, go golfing, hike, meditation/prayer, eating, or sleeping. Make sure you are engaging in adequate self care.
V Is for Values. Know what you believe and stand for. This may involve your higher power. For me this is a Christian God. This value system is a road map for me through life challenges and crisis. If you know what you stand for we are more likely to preserve through trial and adversity.
E is for Evidence. I once heard our faith is only as strong as our memory. If we remember all the things we have been through then we have a multitude of examples to push us through adversity. Therefore, write things down. Write down all the victories in your life. Celebrate meeting goals. Share this with loved ones. Create a tradition to remember all of the success you have accomplished in life to fall back on when you are feeling discouraged.
You do not have to perfect this list, only challenge yourself to stay the course. You do not have to remember all of these steps, in fact if you choose one step a week and pour your energy into the process, there is a good chance things will start to change before you get to the end. When we experience the change we seek it makes perseverance a little easier and we become more and more excited. And, before you know it this change no longer feels like change, but it feels like restoration. Restoration of self which makes life more fulfilling. I believe in change, do you?
Reach out today to begin your healing process!
