Turning Knowledge into Action
The majority of my clients come to me because something in their life is not working and they are looking for a way to change it.
This thing could be anything, a relationship, a job, a lifestyle, a feeling, you name it. Whatever it is, it is something that causes them pain and they want to know how to fix it. By the time they get to my office, many of them have already made several attempts to fix the problem on their own. They have googled endlessly, read all the books, watched all the Ted talks and have had lengthy discussions (or arguments) about what the problem is and why it needs to change. This is where most of us start when faced with a problem. We begin by asking questions: What is it? Where is it coming from? Why is this happening to me?
Change begins when we start to question whether we are willing to keep putting up with the same pain, what can be done about it and what we are willing to do to feel better. When we decide we want to feel something different we start to ask all sorts of questions as we gather information, discuss and analyze the problem. This gathering and investigating feels productive and we feel a sense of accomplishment, we feel like we are doing something about the problem because we understand it better. And this is where many people get stuck, in what John Maxwell calls “the greatest gap in the world,” the space between understanding the problem and doing something about it.
If you are not already familiar with the stages of changes they are: Pre-contemplation, Contemplation, Preparation, Action, Maintenance, and Relapse. In the pre-contemplation stage we are not yet aware that there is a problem. In the contemplation stage we are aware of the problem but not yet interested in doing anything about it. And in the preparation stage we begin to get ourselves ready to fix the problem by gathering information and tools we will need in the action stage. The preparation stage can feel busy and active, but it is a consuming activity. We are taking in rather than putting out energy. This energy is one that will, hopefully, motivate us to take the first step toward change. But change creates unknown outcomes and the unknown creates anxiety, sometimes even fear. So we start to believe the lie that “when I know more, I will feel more confident about the next step.” But I am here to tell you that you already know enough to take the first step. Not all the steps, just the first one. Because that is all that is required right now. And until the first step is accomplished there can never be a second. And knowing more will not make it any easier.
So how do we manage the anxiety or fear around that first step? How do we bridge the gap between knowing and doing? First, we simplify, we take the flood of information we have gathered, and we whittle it down to something manageable. This might look like choosing 1-2 self-help books on the topic and not buying another until you have used them. Or it might look like talking to the people directly related to or effected by the problem, instead of everyone in your contacts list. This also might look like seeking out a therapist rather than googling the issue and reading everything on the internet. When we turn down the “noise” of information and other people’s opinions, we also turn down the anxiety and overwhelm of the first step.
Next, we make it actionable. This means taking what you know and directly applying it to your situation by breaking down the information into small actionable steps. Without these small steps, many of us will try to accomplish too much too quickly, falling into an all-out and then burnout approach to change that can leave us feeling defeated. Instead, identify the goal, identify the steps to the goal and then ask what do I need to accomplish the first step? By taking things one step at a time, you will build on the knowledge you have and build confidence in yourself to make and maintain change.
Finally, we seek accountability. Whether you are a self-healer, working with a therapist or a life coach, change is unsettling. You will be doing new things and some of those things will be hard and you won’t be good at them yet. Finding someone to talk to about the process is helpful when managing “the gap,” because it normalizes the process and makes us feel less alone in it. For this reason it is helpful to find someone who will listen and offer you encouragement and support.
If you have found yourself in the gap between “knowledge and action” and are feeling frustrated and defeated I encourage you to slow it down today. Grab a pen and paper and look at the problem again. Ask yourself 1. What am I trying to change, 2. What are the steps to making this change happen, and 3. What do I need to take the first step. You might find that you are able to take the first step all on your own, but in many cases taking the first step may require new skills or the help of another person. Are you willing to reach out and ask for help? If not, what is holding you back?
If you are local to the Redding area, or a resident of California, I would love to partner with you as you navigate these questions and changes. Schedule your free consultation today.
